1. THE FILMS! OH GOD THE FILMS!
Every film that Nick Cage is in is fantastic in its own ridiculous way. The storylines sound like they were concocted in a meth lab and the dialogue generally sounds like the combination of a five year old and a tourettes sufferer. The characters are terrible, the women are degraded and the unthinkable always happens. Even in good quality films, such as Kick Ass or The Sorcerer's Apprentice, Nick Cage gives it his personal ReNicholas stamp to make assure you it will not disappoint.
2. When he loses his shit.
Whatever the film, whatever the storyline, Nick Cage will do what he does best - Go bat shit crazy. I probably have inflicted this video on you before, but if I haven't, prepare for the best 4 minutes 14 seconds of your life. This man has so much soul. I also own most of the films these extracts come from and I can assure that, in context, the outbursts make... absolutely no sense whatsoever.
3. Lines that you can only get away in a film starring him.
I am a film buff and a literary snob, and I am not afraid to admit it. Film and television with terribly dialogue, books that are written terribly make me die inside. But Nick Cage could be Christian Grey and I would read that damn book and watch the film on a loop over and over again. Dear Movie Gods - PLEASE cast Nicholas Cage as Christian Grey. It would be the best decision you ever made.
"You see this here femur? It belonged to your daughter"
"Two Roger's don't make a right"
"What's in the bag? A shark or something?"
"HAGGIS"
"How in the name if Zeus's butt hole did you get out of your cell?!"
"FUCKING HANGERS"
"Have you ever been dragged the pavement until your PISSED BLOOD"
"HOW'D IT GET BURNED, HOW'D IT GET BURNED, HOW'D IT GET BURNED?!?!?!?!"
"I never derobe before opening fire."
I could go on.
4. The way you can measure the greatest of one of his film on the awfulness of his wig.
Don't believe me? Check out pictures of his films, the more terrible the wig, the more
5. Dying like no man can.
Whether it's by a chip fryer to the face, or as a sacrifice to the honey Gods. This man dies in style. And he won't die quietly. What's more, he doesn't always stay dead, and his return is majestic and fantastic. SOMETIMES he's already dead. Is there anything he can't do?!
