After watching an interesting new reality-cum-documentary at work about female wrestlers, our Acquisitions manager said the producer called it "Empowering for women". I immediately took offense to this. Being told what empowers a woman, particularly by a man is extremely patronising. It would be equivilant of me saying that football is empowering to men, when I know several men who don't even like sports.
I'm very interested in the concept of feminism. I wouldn't particularly class myself as feminist, but things such as the fact that the majority of the top guys of the big company who have just bought my company are male do stand out to me. I also realised at that moment that I'm glad these men are there to do the heavy lifting and take responsibility. In comparison I'd be more than happy to stay in my role forever.
It did however make me thing about what empowers me. I have absolutely no desire to be a wrestler, to be told I need to lose 20 pounds or to talk shit about Mexican women. (This involves context you will probably never have unless the show gets commissioned in the UK and you actually chose to watch it.)
So here we go:
Things that empower me:
- Using my degree in every day life. Whether its reciting a literary theory or sending an email in Spanish it tells me that twenty eight grand was worth every penny.
- Driving. Its awesome. Anyone who doesn't should immediately learn.
- Drinking wine whilst cooking. I feel like I belong on Wisteria Lane with the other Desperate Housewives, knowing something exciting would happen.
- Knowing I will never be just a housewife. I'm 23 and the world is at my oyster.
- Locking the doors behind me at 8pm when I get in from working, knowing I'm safe and I have the evening to myself.
- Feeling in charge of my own life
- Directing. I'm still very new but having an idea that I've managed to transfer on paper, then to actual real life human beings is an incredible feeling.
- Knowing wholeheartedly that my other half loves me completely unconditionally.
- Having the most awesome friends in the world. I have at least 4 people I can trust completely to help me in any situation.
- Walking in the dark, being home alone and driving at night. In my head horror film scenarios play over and over again but to be honest I feel invincible.
- Using the bathroom with the door open when I'm home alone.
- Telling someone that I believe in God because its not a big deal and it fits perfectly into the flow of conversation.
Things that do not empower me:
- I still have to sleep with the door closed and my laptop playing episodes of Friends. I probably could sleep without it but sometimes I'm scared not to.
- Not being where I want to be at the speed at want to be there in life. Its unsettling and capable or not its out of my control.
- When I feel like I've done something wrong even though I'm not sure what so feeling dread all day.
- Knowing wholeheartedly that I love my other half unconditionally. Don't ask me why but its terrifying.
- Feeling utterly at mercy to my emotions.
- Directing. It has its good points but I feel completely overwhelmed.
- Being 23. I wish I could fast forward 7 years and be married and pregnant or something so I at least know what's coming.
