So I'm sitting here on my first free Tuesday for 7 months in the warm post-directorial glow of a fantastic show week plus an absolutely incredible review from NODA (which I will show off later) and I wanted to write a bit of a reflective blog about my first experience as a director, hopefully you will find it entertaining.
1. The beginning Stages
The first few weeks of rehearsals were odd. The music needs to at a decent enough level that people can put their books down for long enough to look where they're going when setting. I spent most of the rehearsals sitting at the back, listening and scribbling notes in my big pink book; most of which I never even mentioned. I also kept my lib and my pink book with at most times, making rough notes in the back and "best notes" in the front. These stages were interspersed with committee meetings and spending a lot of time in denial about my forthcoming responsibility for running rehearsals.
2. The Audition Stages
Auditions were without a doubt the worst part of the whole process. Not only was sitting on the panel terrifying, but I had no idea what I was looking for and mostly spent the whole time thinking how wonderful everyone was without being objective or making many useful notes. The decision making was just as hard; working out which of your opinions were actually more important than the opinions of the other people on the panel; and making some difficult and unheard of decisions such as re auditioning. Sending the email with the final cast list was nerve wracking to say the least and I was so relieved when it was all over and an angry mob didn't turn up to my door with pitch that even if the show was terrible I could console myself that I wouldn't have to audition anyone again.
3. The Directing Stages
From the very first rehearsal where we started setting I started to think about how directors have done this in shows I've been in in the past. That number of shows is around 17 and with 5 different societies and 12 different directors over the last 10 years. Can I remember how any of them lead a rehearsal; and translated their notes and stick person drawings to real life? Can I fuck. Even to this day I cannot recall a single rehearsal that I've been to in all that time, nor did I have any idea what I am about to do with the 30-odd people standing in front of me; faces full of expectations and hope. The first few rehearsals were messy but I told myself if we stuck to the schedule everything would be just fine.
4. The Setting stages
This has taken most of the time. We took roughly one or two songs, or a about 15 minutes of stage time, a rehearsal. Everything at first went particularly well, especially with the men who were full of enthusiasm when you could stop them laughing at the words "sword" and "bottom". Which actually never happened, but its nice to dream. A lot of rehearsals felt like a lot of me half explaining what I wanted, half miming what I wanted in an impossible-to-recreate way; but somehow they managed to get my meaning. Quite often I shared my doodles of what I expected it to look like. In my head this meant that in a rehearsal or two later I would be able to say "Remember that picture of an upside down trapezium I told you about?" and everyone would remember exactly what I meant. However, in reality would be met by rows of blank faces (more on that later). I used a range of methods, repetition; diagrams; rearranging; sectioning; giving up and trying again next week... and most of the time I felt we achieved a lot in a rehearsal which is nice. I was glad to have a designated "point of no return notes" section in my pink booklet so I could write things as they were and I was determined that they would stay that way. Most of the men can account for that when I got to the fourth rerunning of one section of finale act 1 and resorting to begging them to remember the moves. They did. I won.
5. The Principal Stages.
Now my principals were fantastic. There was not a weak member of the group and for the most part Friday rehearsals required very little effort from me and attendance was good. Having said that the principals definitely taught me more about directing than anything else. For most of the solo numbers,which are tough at best in G&S; I gave the cast very rough instructions but mostly left it up to them, with a few exceptions. Now, there is a song in act 2 which is very hard going, but leaving it to the principal involved actually resulted in one of the funniest and most entertaining numbers in the show, and I'm gutted I can't take credit for it. Thinking about it I think there is more of a balance to be struck with directing the principals and trusting them to use their instincts. In fairness if I had set a routine to that number it would have involved much harder work in rehearsals, frustration from both sides if they couldn't get the hang of it, plus remembering something someone else has told you to do is much harder than keeping together your own routine. This was particularly evident in some of the other numbers where more than one principal was involved and it was a lot harder to set even a few movements in certain other numbers as when on stage there will be something that feels natural to you as an individual that no director could predict; or even control in some places.
6. The Blank Face Stages
This was one of the hardest parts of rehearsals. I'm aware I ramble and I'm aware that I do sometimes start a train of thought halfway through and quite often have to restart sentences that try to come out before they are even slightly ready. However I tried my best to be clear and reasonable, but I spent half my time looking at confused, blank and sometimes downright disgusted faces. This happened at full cast and principal rehearsals and it was without a doubt the most difficult thing to deal with, not only did I constantly have to question my own explanation, but I also found it very hard not to take it offensively... After a while I did come to realised that people develop this face when they are processing information. It's the human equivalent of the little spinning icon or the hour glass on a computer when something is waiting to load.
7. The "I've Got a Great Suggestion" Stages
Oh dear Lord. This was not a fun part of the role. Generally speaking I think I was quite good at sticking to my original ideas, after all if it wasn't in the permanent section it wasn't getting put in. There were suggestions throughout the show. Some of which were decent and I did take them on board because they made sense - for example allowing the women time to turn so they could see the MD. However some were just nonsensical "This will be easier for me" "This makes more sense"; nope, no it doesn't and I'm actually a fan of what it already looks like so let's just stick to what I told you to do, YES?!? My general line was "Ok thank you, I'll have a look at that and see if I can make it work". The suggestion then promptly left my thoughts and never dawned on me again. This might sound very pompous and very precious, but it is also why I (rightly) ignored the committee's suggestion that I elect an Assistant Director. I didn't want someone to disagree with me constantly, nor someone to run my ideas past before I even got to the chorus themselves. It would only make me doubt myself and I was confident enough with my doodles that everything was realistic enough to happen and look good.
Some of this meant I also ended up with not enough time to add things in that I would have loved to... But I'll save them for next time.
8. The Difficult Decision Stages
It wouldn't be right to talk about this whole process without mentioning the difficult decisions that had to be made. But actually calling them difficult isn't right because at the end of the day if a decision is the right one to make then it shouldn't be difficult and it wasn't. Although very stressful, having to make difficult decisions made me a better director without a doubt. It was at that point I stopped taking on board everyone's input and stuck to my guns. My guns which had no lead me wrong yet. If I had to umm and aahh over decisions I knew it wouldn't be the right one; but the simple fact is I didn't have to and I was pleased with myself for being objective and putting the good of my production and the society before any personal turmoil that it could have involved. And as a result I didn't suffer much, or any, personal turmoil and business was resumed with barely a bump on my family escutcheon. It was also a humbling experience that showed to me what it means to be a member of a society such as this and that there are people who are willing to do their duty for the good of the society without a moment's hesitation. I really hope this experience makes me a better cast member in the future.
9. The Justification Stages
Some of the hardest times came from my encounters with the committee as a whole. I had a very clear idea of what I wanted and I knew that money was tight and I was keen to do my part in keeping costs down. Considering all the shows I have been in and seen I am aware that the things you notice are: The people on stage. What the people on stage are wearing. What they sound like. What the music sound likes. What they have in their hands. Nothing else. Owing to the versatility of the venue I wanted to encourage the committee to be creative and to help themselves save money. As a result we had some highly praised costumes which we begged, borrowed and stole (well, hired for as little money as possible) and absolutely fantastic, functional and unique set which I couldn't have been happier with. The committee meetings on the whole were an absolute battlefield however it all paid off. We saved money so we could afford a small band; and publicity efforts paid off with great ticket sales.
10. The Letting Go Stages
Hugely frustrating but what can you do when the majority of your cast is around retirement age? People don't remember things like they should and even thought each rehearsal sometimes felt like we were starting afresh I like to think I kept my cool as much as I could. I made them diagrams I wrote down every order they should stand in so they should know. I gave them key words for key actions... The women threaded on the word "threading" and the men stepped forward on the word "Forward!" (Clever eh?) But at the end of the day there's only so much you can do. By the end of the resetting stages I learn to do something I have never been able to do before: I let go. I let go of the tiny things that went wrong and the bits that were partly out of time. I wrote two pages of notes at the dress run and I basically ignored them all. It just felt like the right thing to do at that stage; and I think it paid off. No one was concentrating on something picky so they forgot something big and there were barely any moments whilst watching it where I had to cringe because it was all going tits up. So bravo.
There is a huge amount I can take from this experience and I definitely want to do it again. Seeing the pride on people's faces in the audience and the utter enjoyment on the faces of the cast during the show was absolutely magical and I still can't believe that my nonsensical scribbles turned into such a fantastic performance.
But don't take my word from it. From the words of NODA I have a "good understanding of the idiosyncrasies of the genre" created some "outstanding vignettes from members of the chorus" and included "some great ‘updated’ references in the show and the cast looked as though they were having a cracking time performing. This, more than anything else, reflects the strength of the company and the direction." Which, frankly, is the best thing anyone could have said to me.
I hope I have been a good producer the work with and I hope that I have as much passion for future projects (ie ones where I feel like I have less to prove!). I also want to reach out my utter thanks to everyone involved. Obviously Pirates is majorly music so my MD was an absolute class act and it wouldn't have been even half as good without her pushing the chorus and principals to the absolute limit.
Onwards and upwards!
